The marriage bed
by calyope
Summary: One year into their marriage Eomer and Lothiriel are still strangers to each other.
1. Feast Night

It was an evening of feast. A year had passed since the victory at the Black Gate and the lords of Middle Earth had assembled to celebrate the victory. At the big table filled with meats and wine , Eowyn was seated next to her husband. She was seven months pregnant and Faramir had wanted to stay home in Ithilien but she had claimed she was fine and she really wanted to see her friends and most of all her brother who was now King of Rohan and had been four moths married to Lothiriel.

"My love, were he not your brother, I should be very jealous. You have been staring at him since we sat at the table." Faramir said leaning over to kiss his wife's cheek.

"I do not like what I see" she replied with sadness.

"Eowyn, it is not your place to interfere"

"Then whose place is it to do so? They do not look happy. She does not look happy and Eomer has twice disappeared this evening and I think I could spot just who with…"

"My love, not everybody is as fortunate as we are. Their marriage was arranged and they may have other arrangements now. If my cousin does not scold him for … other women, you should not either. "

'Your cousin is obviously pale and unhappy. And she watches him just as closely as I am so she is not indifferent to his endeavors."

"You will not not meddle, will you? " Faramir asked smiling.

"Do you mind if I go exchange seats with your cousin? I want to talk to Eomer and I am sure you would like to speak to Lothiriel. "

"Of course I do not mind, Eowyn, though I will miss you."

"Will you … talk to her? Ask her…"

"I don't know if it is my place to …"

"Faramir, she doesn't have a friend here. She should talk to somebody before she just withers away with sorrow. Yes, she should have a friend in her husband but my little brother seems to be oblivious of that and he just ignores her.'

" All right, love. I will."

….

" I can handle my own wife just fine!" Eomer frowned at his sister who was shamelessly interrogating him about his relations with Lothiriel.

" Handle her? She is not a horse, Eomer. She is a woman!"

" I know she is and I know how to handle women."

" I am sure you do, I have seen you do that to at least two of them tonight. And so did you wife."

" No, she did not. She does not pay attention to my actions. She is the perfect proper lady, she is an amazing diplomat and completely suitable for a Queen."

" Indeed she is. She was raised for it. But she is also a young woman. A beautiful one."

" She is." Eomer replied.

" So why do you go around bedding other women when you have a beautiful, young, willing wife?"

"Willing? Ha!"

" So that is the problem ? She is not … willing?"

"Eowyn, these are not matters to be discussed."

" Brother, I too can be a perfect proper lady and a diplomat. But I do not feel the need to do that with you. And I will not cease talking to you about it until you tell me everything. So, is your wife reluctant to bed with you? Is that why you ignore her so?"

" She is not … reluctant. She does her duty … on occasions and I am sure that I will have an heir …'

" You talk of her as if she were a mare!"

" I know it sounds like it. But really I care for her and I respect her and I make sure she lacks nothing."

" She lacks you, brother. She is alone in your country, at your court, with your people and you left her alone in your bed as well. "

" She does not want me there …" Eomer replied in a sad voice.

" I wouldn't want Faramir either if I would see him go off to the sables with other women."

" You think she knows?"

" Of course she knows, Eomer! She is young and she is a lady and she may behave in the most proper way possible but she grew up with brothers just as I grew up with you. She is not oblivious to the needs of men. And she is always watching you …'

" She has never said anything . "

" What could she say?"

" She could ask me to stop . She could ask me to her … our bed. She could just once seem like it doesn't make her sick when we do get to …"

Eowyn could see that he was upset about this too.

" Brother, you have been with a number of women. You have always caught the eye of the ladies and I have heard you were rather good at making them happy in that respect. Do you try to make you wife happy when you bed _**her**_?"

" Well , she's … different."

" So you do not. You just … mate with her for heirs? That is horrible."

" She does not complain."

" You know, brother, I would have thought you many things, but not stupid. How could she complain when she knows no other way? Was she not a maiden on your wedding night?"

" She was…"

" Then how could she know what to complain about? The only man she has ever known is you, Eomer. And even though she is very learned I doubt anyone took the time to instruct her in these matters. You cannot imagine how horrifying it is for a maiden to be with a man for the first time. It is frightening and embarrassing and painful. "

" She was very quiet ...'

" She still is very quiet. She silently cries alone and you will not go to her.'

" What if she really does not want me?" Eomer looked and his sister and she could see that indeed , the miserable state of his marriage upset him too.

" She really does, Eomer, believe me. And she would seduce you if she knew how. But she thinks you do not want her and then she sees going off with every willing wench. "  
" I did not realize she knew … I tried to be discreet."

" Talk to her. Or better yet, seduce her."

"Seduce her?"

" Yes. Make her lay with you because she wants to , not because she has to. I have no doubt in my mind that you know how to do that to a woman."

" But she is … a princess."

Eowyn burst into laughter.

" And you think princesses do not enjoy being kissed? Or touched? Or teased? Do you imagine also that they cannot scream from intense pleasure?"

" Eowyn!" her brother said frowning at her.

" I don't care if this is improper. I am telling you that they can and that the little dark haired cousin of Faramir deserves to look forward to her nights in bed with her husband."

They both became silent as they saw Faramir and Lothiriel approaching.

" My dear, we should retire for the night." Faramir said taking his wife's hand into his and kissing it.

" As you wish , Milord. But I assure you I am not tired." She answered.

" I didn't mean we needed to go to sleep…" the Prince of Ithilien smiled and Eowyn blushed a little but stood up and walked away, her hand still in his.

Lothiriel was left standing beside her husband and when he looked up to her he could see how really sad she was looking at her cousin and his wife walking so close to one another and so obviously happy.

Out of nowhere, Lady Lilith appeared and placing her hand on the king's shoulder said to him :

" Will the King fancy a dance?"

Eomer instantly looked at his wife. She stood still, her face showed nothing but he could notice her nostrils swelling and on closer look he could see she was holding back tears. How could he have been so stupid as not to notice this before? He didn't know if it hurt her pride or her feelings but nonetheless it hurt her and he hated that. She was his Queen after all so he rather roughly removed the lady's hand off him and answered sharply:

" I actually do fancy a dance but with my wife".

Lothiriel looked at him startled and now the other woman's face was almost in tears as she did not expect to be turned away so bluntly. Eomer did not care. He knew Lilith well enough and she had done it to embarrass his wife and he would not have it. Instead, he got up and taking Lothiriel's hand lead her to the dance floor. She followed him silently and danced flawlessly, like any young royal woman would. Yet when he drew her a little closer to him she froze. Normally, he would let her go but now he wanted to see if she was pushing him away because she did not want him or because she wanted him too much and was mad at him. He drew her closer still until she was pressed against him and softly kissed her hair. Her reaction was something he did not expect. She started to shake and he soon realized she was crying. He wanted to let her go but she cling to him. Again , he felt stupid. His sister had been right. Lothiriel was not crying because she did not want him to touch her, she cried because she wished he would. Gently he danced her across the room and into the hallway then picked her up and carried her to their room. She leaned her head on his shoulder and was trying hard to stop her sobbing but she couldn't. He put her down as they entered the room and looked at her face. Her eyes met his for a second, before looking down again. She gathered her breath then said :

" Thank you. I am sorry for my behavior. I shall never burst publicly like that again. Please forgive me."

" Lothiriel…" he started to say but she cut him off

" You can return to the celebration now."

" I don't want to return."

" Oh… " she replied and going to the bed stood beside it, unlacing her dress.

He had never looked at her when she undressed. They had only been with each other three times since they were married and each time he felt as if he were raping her. He never dared to look at her because he knew she didn't want him and was only giving him her body because it was her duty to provide an heir for Rohan. Now he looked at her and the words of his sister were ringing in his head. How horrible must it be for her to do this with a stranger? He went over to her and took her hands in his just as she was about to take off her dress. She looked up at him with surprise and panicked not understanding what she had done wrong.

" Lothi… I am the one who should ask you for forgiveness."

She was overwhelmed. It had been months since somebody had called her that and she felt tears in her eyes again so she closed them. He pulled her dress back up her shoulders but before fastening it he placed a little kiss on her shoulder. She shivered and he picked her up in his arms again causing her eyes to open and look at him with surprise .

" I don't know what you want of me…" she said between sighs.

He put her down and leaned down to kiss her but when his lips touched hers once more he got an unexpected reaction. She violently pushed him away and turned her back to him.

" You would let me bed you but you won't let me kiss you?" he asked and she turned around looking at him with such fury that he took a step back.

" Yes , I would because I have to give you a son and I do not know of any other way to do that… and I do not say anything about your bedding somebody else tonight nor do I complain that I sleep alone; I do not even mind that you want to display affection in public so that it might be believed you actually care for me … but don't pretend to me, that I cannot stand !"

" But I do care for you, Lothi."

She went over to him and raised her arm to slap him but he caught her wrist before she could finish.

" Forgive me " she said suddenly . " I do not know what came over me."

" I know what did " He replied calmly. " You are angry with me"

" I am not" she answered wiping her tears.

" You will let me kiss you , then?" he asked and he could see her nostrils swell again as they did when his mistress had asked him for a dance.

" Yes. I will."

" Will you also kiss me back?"

" Yes…"

He bent to kiss her but her lips were motionless. He could see she was struggling with herself to kiss him but she would rather slap him. He had thought about talking to her but she was a far better diplomat than him so he decided the only way to get her to tell him all that she felt was to infuriate her until she would explode. So, ignoring her stillness, he took hold of her mouth and when she would not part her lips he bit her lover lip, forcing her to let him in. She was breathing faster and he wasn't sure if it was from passion or fury but the two are always so closely knit together that he did not really care. He wrapped one arm around her waist and took the back of her head into his other hand so that now she was completely in his power. Eventually he felt she really could not go on any more and released from the kiss but not from his tight grip. Her face was flushed and it was obvious she felt like crying. He went for another kiss but she whimpered :

" Please … don't…"

He smiled and loosened the hold he had on her, moving both his arms around her waist and allowing her to get a little away from his body.

" Lothi…"

" Don't call me that!" she shouted. "It's too… informal "

He unfastened the ribbons of her dress and pulled it down from her. She was standing in a satin under dress that revealed all the curves of her body.

" Is this informal enough that I can call you by your pet name?" he asked and even though he did see her raise her arm again, this time he did not catch it and let her slap him.

"I'm… I'm… Milord… I … " she stammered.

" Still not sufficiently informal for you to call me by my first name, Milady?"

" What do you want from me?" she shouted

" This" he replied. " I want you to shout at me, and beat me and deny me your lips and your body."

" Why?" she asked in a trembling voice " Do you want to repudiate me?"

" By Valar , no! I want to be married to you."

" But … you are …"

" Lothi… " he started and this time she had nothing to say about it " we have started this all wrong . I have been a bad husband to you and did not even know it."

" You thought keeping a mistress is … good?" she hissed at him.

He was surprised.

"I'm… I will not … do that anymore. I promise you. "he said and looked at her to see her reaction. He wished to know how she really felt about their being together but did not know how to ask that so he just looked into her eyes. She felt the awkward question in his gaze and tried to answer it .

" I will … I am… you can always … when you want to … "

" Do you want to ?" he asked

" Of course I do , it is my…"

" Please do not say 'duty'…"

She swallowed and looked at him. It was her duty. But she also liked it when she felt his skin on hers and when he … She blushed thinking about it. He had always been careful with her, always making sure she was ready for him when he took her and always very gentle. Too gentle … she thought.

" I … like it…" she finally said in such a low voice that he could barely hear her. But he did and he could not remember when he had last been so happy. He went over to her and leaned down to kiss her.

" Don't worry, I will not smother you like before, I was just trying to get you to react then. " he said and gently pressed his lips against hers. And yet again, she surprised him when her tongue intruded between his lips in a rush o passion, making him understand that she also liked being smothered. So he complied to her eagerness and without releasing from the kiss he picked her up and took her to their bed. He removed her satin undergarment and took a step back to look at her naked body. She instinctively covered what she could with her arms. He smiled and nearing her indulged in another kiss. Her hands found their way under his tunic and he realized she had never before touched him. She always allowed him to do whatever he pleased with her body but she never claimed his. It felt good. For the first time he felt like he had a wife. He helped her take all of his clothes off and he smiled when her hand almost caressed his now very erect manhood. She stopped and hoped he would not notice. He did but was not going to make a fuss about it. He could see her gaze turned away from his body yet trying to peak at the lower part of him ever so often.

"You can look straight at it, you know" he said smiling

" Oh I … " she blushed looking into his eyes .

He took a few steps back and waited for her to gain the courage to look at him. She finally did and her eyes hungrily inspected his muscular body, resting a while longer on his groin.

" So that is what you stabbed me with on our wedding night" she finally said and he was pleasantly surprised at her indecency.

" It is. That must have been very unpleasant for you. I am sorry." He came back to her and lead her to their bed, pulling the covers and laying next to her.

"It wasn't all that unpleasant. It was mostly embarrassment because I did not know what to do and you seemed so … formal "

" I didn't know what to do either …" he confessed

" That I will not believe." She laughed

" I am not lying to you, Lothi. True, I had been with women. But never with a princess…whom I had married."

"I'm sorry I was so stiff…"

"Oh , Lothi, you really should not be the one apologizing for our wedding night. You were completely inexperienced and I chose to ignore that."

"You didn't ignore that. You were very careful with me … I don't think you enjoyed that at all. I don't thing you have ever enjoyed bedding me. I'm sorry"

He kissed her softly before whispering into her ear :  
"Why don't we stop apologizing to each other and enjoy ourselves?"

She felt a rush of blood to her cheeks.

"I still don't know how to please you, Mylord."

" Well" he started while cupping her right breast with his hand and leaning towards it with his lips ready to capture the reddened bud " it would please me if you stopped calling me your lord"

"Oh…"

When his lips touched her skin she gasped. It felt incredibly good but she did not know how to handle the new sensations that swept through her body and she froze. He felt her go stiff in his arms and stopped the sweet torture of her breasts bringing his face up and kissing her lips. That she had become comfortable with and she knew how to respond. Her mouth opened to him and allowed his tongue to explore. Sensations unknown before took hold once more of her body and she had to admit that her breasts longed to feel once more the velvety moisture of his lips. Suddenly she realized that though his mouth was still covering hers his tongue no longer roamed. Again, she was at a loss what to do and as things stood she could not possibly ask him. But evidently she had to do something so after assessing briefly the situation she buried her hands in his golden hair and shyly pushed up her tongue into his mouth. A sound of approval came from him and she smiled. In a swift movement he rolled together with her so now she was over him, her kiss growing bolder. This was all right, she thought. She could follow his lead if he indicated what he wanted. It resembled dancing except that in this she was not supposed to take lessons from anybody else. She giggled at that thought and he trapped her tongue for a moment making her aware that she was not giving her full attention to her current lesson. His hands caressed her back and very slowly made their way down to massage her bottom. She didn't stir or protest and he wasn't even sure if she felt what other parts of him were doing while she was so determined not to let any spot of his mouth unclaimed by hers. He only wished her mouth would be equally eager on other parts of him. But it was too early to ask that of her and he wondered if he would ever dare ask her at all. It was true that by the time they were wed his rank was higher than hers but still he was a warrior of Rohan who came to the throne only because the rightful King, his cousin, had died in battle. Lothiriel was a real princess, born and bred, the kind of a woman he could have never held claim to… He was starting to grow uncomfortable and his hands drew back, resting on her hips. She released his lips and looked into his eyes quizzically. So she was aware of his touches. He could see desire in her green eyes and remembered his sister's words; princesses did like to be touched and teased and they did deserve to be given pleasure. Especially this particular princess who was now his Queen, his wife, his woman.

"Why did you stop?" she asked in a trembling voice. "Did I do something wrong?"

" No, Lothi, you haven't. I have difficulties making love to your title."

She looked at him with surprise; it wasn't what he had said but the phrase 'make love' made her heart jolt.

"You are not making… she swallowed … that to my title but to me." She said and seeing his smile at her reluctance to say that word made her hide her head between his shoulder and neck, inhaling the masculine scent of his skin.

"That?" he asked in mirth and she giggled against his skin still not lifting her curly head but taking hold of his hands and pushing them downwards.

"Yes, Mylady" he said playfully while he resumed his ministrations.

"Don't call me that." She said raising herself on her arms and looking into his eyes.

"All right, my love." He replied and delighted in the way she blushed. "May I call you that?"

She nodded and let herself slide down kissing his chest and feeling his wanting manhood pressed against her.

"I want to please you." She whispered. "show me how".

He cast away the first thought that came through his mind when he heard her. He would not ask her to do that yet. But he could show her that pleasure as he definitely felt no shyness or apprehension about it.

With a swift move he rolled with her and she wiggled a bit to find her place under him. He placed a soft kiss on her lips then whispered in her ear :  
"All right, I will show you what I like if you promise to be honest with me about what you like."

" I will" she said even though she had no idea what he meant by that until his mouth started to trail kisses across her body making her sigh and shiver of pleasure. The moment she felt his beard tickle her thies she gasped and when his hands were encouraging her legs to part she felt rather reluctant to do so. He did not rush her but neither did he let go and eventually she had to give in. The thought that his face was so close to her core made the blood rush to her cheeks and she tried to pull herself up a little but he took hold of her hips and with one move pulled her right into his mouth and his tongue hungrily started to stroke her moist flesh. She screamed in surprise and then moaned loudly, feeling both wonderful and embarrassed, her head wishing he would stop, her body hoping he wouldn't. She was trying hard to be quiet but found it impossible and as his rhythm ascended so did her cries and she tried to burry her mouth in the pillows so she would muffle them. He felt her whole body trembling as her pleasure was growing towards its peak and then she finally reached it screaming out his name while trying to raise herself enough for her hands to push him away.

She collapsed back into the pillows and put her hand over her mouth. He laughed and gathered her into his arms kissing her hair.

"I will never be able to face anybody who was in Meduseld tonight" she said catching her breath.

"Now, now, I'm sure not everybody heard you. Some of the maids are rather old and probably deaf".

She chuckled and looked up at him.

"You deceived me."

"how did I do that?"

"You told me you would show me what your pleasure was and instead you…"

"I … what?" he asked with mirth

"You know what you did."

"Of course I do but I would like to hear you say it."

"You showed me my pleasure instead. Though I have the feeling that my reciprocation of your … actions would bring you enjoyment as well"

He looked at her in surprise.

" I do have three brothers, Eomer, and they are rather shameless. I did hear a lot of … things about the pleasures of men." She explained when she saw the look on his face. "Which does not make me any more able to bring them about…" she continued as the thought that he might want her to reciprocate right then.

He laughed softly and again rolled on top of her so she would understand his real intention.

" Thank you." She whispered into his ear and lifted her knees, locking her ankles around his waist.

This was new to Eomer. A woman honestly thanking him for making love to her … and not any woman but the one he held a duty to make love to. He gently pushed into her and started to move with careful thrusts. Her hands were tracing across his back and as she felt again her pleasure growing she put all modesty aside and said

" I will not break if you take me harder"

He stopped altogether and looked at her. She was red as poppies and avoiding his gaze whimpered

"I'm sorry, I did not mean it like I was complaining … I just …" She swallowed as tears were forming in the corners of her eyes.

He took her hands in his and brought them onto the pillow pinning them down. There was so much desire in his eyes that it almost frightened her. When he plunged into her forcefully she screamed and he could read her contentment. Encouraged by this his rhythm grew and his thrusts earned loud moans of pleasure until finally he felt his release was close and instinctively pulled out of her spilling all over her thighs. Now it was him who hid his face in the pillow and din not dare look at her. He didn't know how he would explain to her why he had pulled out.

"I'm not sure yet if I should be upset or flattered at the fact that you mistook me for one of your mistresses." She said and indeed her voice sounded undecided. So she knew why he had done it …

"Forgive me." He finally said resting his head on his elbow and looking at her." Believe me, I did not mistake you for anybody but I admit it has been a habit for me not to …"

"I can imagine. It would be unwise for the King to have illegitimate children."

" The King will have no other children that those of his beautiful Queen for he will not…" a finger on his lips stopped what he was saying.

"Do not make promises you cannot keep." Lothiriel said and he could see sadness on her face. She was still unsecure of how he felt for her.

Eomer rolled off the bed and went over to one of the big closets taking a towel and returned to his wife who was still on the bed, keeping her eyes closed and visibly fighting back tears. He placed a soft kiss on her knee and said:

"Spread"

She flung her eyelids open and sat up in bed hugging her knees. He smiled at her.

"Again a paradox. You will allow my mouth but not my hands?"

The blood rushed to her cheeks and she reached for the towel. He gave it to her but held her in his gaze as she cleaned herself with obvious embarrassment.

"I don't think you understand how utterly beautiful and desirable you are to me.' He finally spoke.

She looked straight into his eyes with anger. If she could voice it, he knew she would ask him to go away and leave her alone. She would cry, he knew that also. He wanted to reassure her but also wanted her to talk to him. He wanted her to let out all her anger, to be honest with him even if it meant an argument. Again he decided to get her so upset that she would burst so he got up from the bed, put on his leggings and his shirt and left the room. He was counting on the fact that she would not expect him to return thus she would not lock the door. He went back to his room and his heart ached a little knowing how Lothiriel must feel left there naked and alone on the bed but he decided it was for the better as he made a solemn vow to himself it would be the last time he would ever leave her like that.

For the first few seconds she felt relief that he had gone. She wanted him gone so she could have her peace. Yet after that first moment she began to feel alone and desperate. She was cold and she should have put something on but she could not move. She hated him for seducing her the way he had. He should have just claimed his right as her husband and let her be. He didn't need to kiss her the way he did and he definitely did not have to …blood rushed to her cheeks as she could not state even in her mind what his lips and tongue had done to her. Suddenly the thought that he did that to so many others was so unsettling that she started to cry with desperate sobs burying her head in the pillow that smelled so much like him. That moment she hated him with all that she had yet all she wished for was to feel his touch again. Yet when she did it startled her so that she jumped up and screamed. In her fit she did not hear him come back in the room and now that he had caught her so off guard all she could to was hit him. She clenched her fists and pounded desperately his shoulders and his chest. He let her punch him till she was out of breath and when she eventually stopped and lay back into the pillows covering her face with her hands and sobbing uncontrollably he said simply :

"It's all right."

He allowed her to collect herself and remove her hands then handed her a robe which she took without words and getting up wrapped herself in it.

"Please leave" she said in a calm and determined voice.

'I will not. I'm spending the night with you.'

"No." she said but the voice was trembling.

"It is not negotiable.'

"You would not force me. " she said looking angrily into his eyes. _That _she was sure he would not do.

"True. I did not mean I will make love to you again tonight. Just that I will go to bed with you."

"No.'

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because we are married and neither of us should be sleeping alone.'

"your not sleeping alone does not necessarily include me" she hissed at him.

"Yes it does. I never lie, Lothiriel. And when I say I will never do that again, I mean it."

She was melting under his gaze but she felt vulnerable and hated it.

"What if I want you to do that again so you would leave me alone?"

Anger flamed up in his amber eyes.

''Do you?" he asked stressing every word.

She looked down. Yes, her aim was to disconcert him. Yet she felt that it was this particular conversation that would set the course of their marriage and she could not get herself to tell him that she wished for him to keep mistresses. She really didn't. But she didn't trust that he would keep his word and be faithful to her.

"Well?" he asked in a very serious voice.

"No" she replied in no more than a whisper.

"Good." His voice was softer now. 'I am relieved to hear that."

"I'd still want you to go now. At least for a little while. Please."

He took her into his arms and kissed her hair. At first she was stiff and then she wrapped her arms around him and cling to him with utter desperation.

"I will never leave you again, Lothi. As long as I am in Edoras you will not be sleeping alone."

That finally did it. She just burst into tears uncontrollably and he felt that at last she was at ease to be honest with him. She allowed him to see how she felt and it made him feel wonderful as he knew her tears were of release and once she will let them all out she would be happy. He caressed her hair and whispered conforting words into her ears until she was calm again and her sobs stopped.

"May I stay now?" he asked and she nodded.

"You can stay but I need a moment." She said letting go of him and disappearing towards the washroom.


	2. Feast Night II

Eomer smiled to himself. His wife must have realized that she didn't look like her composed self and immediately ran to remedy that. He admired her deeply but sometimes felt that she was a bit too proper and too composed. It was difficult to talk to her. Actually talking was easy, getting through to her was close to impossible as she was a master of not letting her feelings show.

When she returned to the room all traces of previous suffering were gone. She looked fresh and rested and Eomer wondered if she had performed some kind of sorcery.

"You are staring at me, Milord. "She said in a whisper and blushed.

"Lothiriel, is it that you do not remember my name outside of bed?" she felt his smile but was too embarrassed to look at him.

"Seems so. "

With one swift move he picked her up and threw her in the middle of the big bed and jumped next to her.

"Eomer! " she squeaked, surprised by the attack.

"That's better. You make me nervous when you are being so official. "

"I never imagined you would be nervous. Especially on my account."

"I'm starting to wonder how you see me, Lothi. Seems like human characteristics are not associated with me in your mind."

"I didn't mean to offend you , Milord."

She winced upon realizing she had just said it again.

"Are you afraid of me?"

She did not answer and dared not look at him. It was against her principles to lie yet she knew that admitting to him that she was indeed very intimidated would only make him angry. Which was what she feared in the first place. There was no way out of this so she resolved to change his focus and kiss him. He returned the kiss but then pulled back and taking her chin in his hand lifted it up so that his eyes were now fixed on hers and she could not look away.

"Lothi, talk to me. Do I scare you?"

" A little bit."

"Why? Was I ever unkind to you ?"

"No." she whispered back

"What do you fear I would do to you, Lothiriel?"

" I don't know…get mad at me I suppose."

" You think I would hurt you?" his voice was already hinting anger.

" No … yes…I don't know. I'm not sure I would like to familiarize with your wrath. I have caught glimpses of it when you were training your men and I …Look, Eomer, I have always done my best not to give you cause to retaliate against me and I promise that I will continue to be careful not to cross you."

Bema, she was holding her vocabulary even when she was cornered. Her doe eyes were pleading him to end this conversation.

"They are my army. There is no room for kindness in war. I know I have a temper but you will never be the object of my rage, this I promise you."

She did not know what to say so she was just looking at him , wishing for this conversation to stop. It had been hard when she was all alone but by herself she at least knew what to do : find ways to cope with the situation. This was even harder as she had no idea how to be with her husband other that official and making all possible efforts to cut every encounter very short.

He understood her discomfort and decided to let it be for the moment.

"Come to think of it, my lovely peaceful wife, it is me who has been the subject of your abuse tonight so it would be my place to fear you . "

His tone was cheerful so she resolved he didn't want another apology .

"I was pretty mad at you . " she admitted.

"I know and you had every right to. I have been a very bad husband but as I have told you , I am going to improve."

She smiled and that warmed his heart.

"Let's go to bed , Lothi, we've had enough commotion for one night, don't you think?"

This question, though meant to give her what she wanted – and end to the dreaded conversation threw her into another painful dilemma : did he mean she should get into bed and sleep or did he want to make love to her again? She was looking to his face for hints but could find none. He was watching her just as careful not understanding why she had gone so stiff and why she was torturing her lower lip with her teeth.

She was terrified. If she just got into bed and gone to sleep , he would take that as a refusal. If she started to undress and it was not the case, he would think her an insatiable whore.

"Lothi?"

She looked like she was going to cry.

"Lothi, what is wrong ?" Eomer asked obviously concerned.

" I don't know what you want me to do. " she answered in a barely audible voice .

"What do you mean ?"

Somehow she resolved that she was better off if she seemed willing rather than not so she got on her knees in the middle of the bed and removed her nightgown but once naked she could not help the reflex of hiding her breasts with her arm. She was frantically biting her lip and avoiding his eyes.

To say that he was surprised was an understatement. He found her very beautiful and the fact that she was still so shy and virginal added to that. Still, there was something that he didn't like at her current posture – she seemed like she was giving herself as a sacrifice. So he picked up her nightgown and dressed her right back. She didn't resist but tears started running down her face .

"You don't want me …" she said between sobs.

"I do want you Lothriel but not like this."

"I don't know how to …we've never …until now … I'm lost, Eomer. I'm scared I will do something wrong and send you away again. And I just did …"  
He gently raised her chin and looked into her eyes.

"You didn't do anything wrong and I'm not going away. Why do you find it so hard to talk to me, Lothiriel? If you are lost, why don't you ask me? "

" It would not be proper for me to ask you if you wand to assert your marital right …it sounds bad. "

"It sounds awful ! 'Assert my marital right?' . Really , Lothiriel, sometimes your phrasing makes me thing I am in the council, not in bed with my wife. "

"But how else could I ask that ? It is not really something to be asked …"

"No, you are right. It is not."

"Then what was I to do ?"

"Kiss me."

"Kiss you?"

"Yes. I promise you, you would have known from that if I wanted to make love to you now."

"And did you?"

"Did you want me to want to?"

She smiled at the complicated word play but he didn't give up and asked again :

"Well?"

"I don't know…if you had wanted to , I would have wanted to . "

"Now that is either very flattering or an insult."

"How in Middle Earth can that be an insult , Milord?"

She let out a sigh. He thought this was the most tiresome conversation he has had since his sister insisted to ride to war. And he could foresee a lot of such brain teasing talks with his wife.

" I think I shall consider "Milord" as your pet name for me … I meant either I can heat you in no time or you are so afraid of me that even if you were not in the mood, you would still encourage me to carry on . "

She was back to biting her lip.

"So… I should deny you ?… I'm really not sure how you want me."

"Unafraid of me would be nice, Lothiriel. You are my wife and my Queen. Why is it that you can act accordingly to everybody else but not when you are all alone with me? "

" Because I have no idea what you want from me !" she shouted.

Eomer smiled. At least she had lost her composure; that was progress.

"All right, Lothiriel. Right now I want you to get into bed , kiss me good-night and go to sleep. If you are inclined for other interactions between us I am willing to oblige you."

He was grinning. She was lost again not knowing if she should be inclined or not to do what he would oblige her to. This was nerve-wracking. She got into bed and pulled the covers over herself. Eomer followed her and leaning over her whispered :

"What about the good-night kiss?"

She turned to him and got her lips into a pout, waiting for him to come down and touch them with his.

"The deal was that _you_ give _me_ a kiss."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and coming up touched his mouth with hers. When she felt his tongue brush against her lips she opened them and all of a sudden waves of passion ran over both of them. Now she knew the difference between being inclined to want to make love or merely allowing him…she was absolutely in need of him so when he stopped, pulled back and with an amused look told her: "Good night, Lothiriel" then collapsed into the pillows she was beyond disappointed. It was obvious he was teasing her; inexperienced as she was, she did recognize the desire in his kiss. Still , she didn't dare move. Eventually he turned to look at her. In the dim light coming from the fire he could see tears rolling down her cheeks. He wondered how much could she really cry and felt guilty for driving her to that again. Gently he caressed her face and whispered :

"Lothiriel, I would very much like to make love to you again."

She smiled and nodded and he ever so gently lifted her nightgown and undressed himself. He reached for her womanhood and found it so moist and ready for him that he started to enter her slowly, looking at her the whole time and enjoying the way she kept her eyes closed and ran her tongue over her lips, struggling to keep her pleasure sounds low.

"Kiss me." She demanded in a whisper and he just could not help asking :

" Where?"

Her eyes flung open and upon seeing his wicked smile retorted :

"Well it would be a great pity to cease what you are already doing …" ; she felt shy the moment those words came out of her mouth and blushed but he didn't want her to feel self-conscious again so his lips hungrily came down on hers while at the same time taking his fingers in between her legs and stroking her mound till she cried into his mouth and desperately grabbed his arm motioning him to stop the sweet torture.

"All right, then I suppose it is my turn now." he said playfully and she had no idea what he meant until with a few deeper thrusts he groaned and filled her.

She held tight to him and as he breathed into her neck she felt that right at that moment he might be vulnerable too, that she had some power over him, power that he gave to her. She smiled to herself.

"Eomer?"

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'? You have no idea what I wanted to ask you.

"I mean no, don't ask me anything more tonight Lothi. This is perfect as it is and I am really tired."

Of course she was on the verge of crying again. Bema, this woman was relentless in her misery! He gathered her into his arms and kissed her cheek.

"I promise, we can talk about all you want tomorrow. But now let's just sleep."

She was stiff in his arms and his head was really beginning to ache at the thought of more talk.

"I am not one of your mistresses that you can just send away so you can have your peace."

She was angry.

"No, we have established that you are my wife. I do no not want you away , I like you in our bed and I promised to talk to you about whatever you want tomorrow. Now please trust my word that I will and indulge me in just enjoying my company."

"And what if I don't enjoy your company?"

Her anger was starting to fade.

"I think everybody in these quarters heard that you do."

"Eomer!"

"Shhh…"

Not having any other option, she settled into his arms and drifted into sleep. Her last thought was if tomorrow she would still have the courage to ask him what she intended to when he so swiftly stopped her.


	3. Battle and Truce

Galda entered the room of her mistress as soon as the sun was up. She knew the day would be long and full of farewell festivities and Lothiriel needed to be prepared and look like the Queen that she was. With the thought of the pretty dress she had prepared the day before the maid made it all the way to the bed where she was shocked to find Eomer sleeping naked next to his wife. In spite of herself , the young servant could not help inspecting her King's body admiring and trying to memorize every curve and every muscle. When she realized that he was watching her just as closely with an amused grin she let out a startled scream and started to stammer :

"Forgive me, Milord, I didn't know… I didn't expect to … I'm so …"

"Galda, get out !" Lothiriel shouted fully awake by now.

The young girl ran out of the chambers and Eomer leaned over to kiss his wife good morning but she pulled away and he could see her nostrils swell again.

"What's wrong?" he asked

"You are wrong !" she shouted

"What did I do now?"

"Wipe that smile from you face ! How can you be so completely unembarrassed when a woman is just … drooling over you?! I suppose I should be relieved that by her surprise she has not seen your unclothed form before ."

"No, she hasn't, and she will most probably not see any other naked man until she is married. And I do not see why I should be embarrassed in my own bedroom, in my house, in the country of which I am King…"

"It is MY room, not yours! "

Eomer's eyebrows rose and he was no longer amused.

"Did you want me gone by morning, my Queen? Is that what you are really angry about?"

"Now everybody will know that you were naked it my bed … my reputation is all…"

Lothiriel realized while she was speaking that her words really did not make sense but she was too angry to say that .

"Lothiriel , I am sure that your reputation will not be tarnished by the rumor that you bed your own husband."

" I know but … naked … and I was naked too… "  
"You still are naked, love. And so am I " he said with an implying smile.

"No! You can't still be thinking of debauchery after we were just caught ."

Eomer was beginning to understand that what he had managed to awake in his wife the previous night was not in accordance with her very strict ideas. Now he was angry with her because she thought of their marriage in that way.

"Lothiriel , I am going to say something which is very important and I really hope you will keep it in mind : what we did last night was not only normal between man and wife it was also something good and beautiful. And though it is indeed something to be kept between the two of us, there is nothing to be hidden or be ashamed of. Do you understand?"

She nodded.

"Do you want to …?" she looked at him

"Why do you ask me that when you are obviously in no mood to ?"

"Because I … I wouldn't want you to be dissatisfied with me …"

"You do understand that we should both be satisfied with each other ?"

"Yes but … I am more easily satisfied …"

Eomer smiled .

"Come , my Queen, we have to get ready to see our guests off. "

And see everybody off they did . By the time the sun was setting every foreign to Rohan was on his way home and Meduseld suddenly seemed deserted. The servants were all working hard to get everything back in the normal place, dishes were being washed, linen was being changed in all the chambers and there was one story on everybody's lips : how the royal couple had made amends and were now happily sharing their marriage bed. Wagers were being made about how long it would take for an heir to the Rohan throne to appear. Eomer was completely oblivious to these stories, Lothiriel noticed that everybody seemed to like her more. They had always respected her but now they were actually smiling at her and even though she was angry knowing that they were talking about her and her intimate life … she liked the feeling. Still, she would give Galda a piece of her mind, both for sharing the story and for staring shamelessly at her husband.

"What are you thinking of?" Eomer asked when finally he entered the room.

"Oh I … I didn't get to dress for the night yet." Lothiriel stammered realizing that in her daydreaming she did not put on her nightgown and was still in her heavy dress.

"Yes, that is indeed to be deeply reflected upon." He answered playfully.

"No, I didn't mean I was thinking about that …I am not in my nightgown yet. "

"I can see that. Do you need my help to take this one off?'

"I do need help but not yours . It would not be proper. "

"And why is that?"

His eyebrow was raised and Lothiriel knew she had to fix it.

"Well…that is a maid's job."

"Your maid is not coming, I caught up with her on the way here and seeing me come in might prevent her from coming to your aid."

"You could leave … for a little bit."

"Or I could help you out of that dress, I'm sure I can manage."

"But it is not …"

"Proper. I got that. Do you really want to explain why it is improper or would you rather let me help you and get this conversation over with so we can go to bed?"

"But…"

"Fine!. Sleep in it if you are so stubborn."

"Eomer! You can't just punish me because I won't let you undress me. "

" Sweetheart, trust me, if I really wanted to punish you or undress you, I would be a lot less subtle than this. I am not the unreasonable one here and I can't understand, other than your stubbornness, why you are so adamant I should not help you out of that dreaded dress."

"Because I just won't! And if you had any manners at all you would respect that instead of trying to intimidate me into stripping like a common whore!."

"Lothiriel! What in Bema's name is the matter with you?!"

"Get out and leave me alone! I will sleep in this dress for a fortnight before I let you touch me!"

" Very well then. But do remember, this is what you wanted." Eomer said in a very threatening voice and left the room slamming the door.

Lothiriel was relieved for a second. Then she started to wonder herself why she would not let him undo her garments. Basically she just wanted to prove that she could have her way. Now that she did, her way did not seem that good of an idea. She sat on the bed and started to cry. Now she wished he would come back to her like he had the night before but knew he would not . She knew enough of him to understand that she had offended him with her refusal and probably he took it as a refusal to share his bed when in fact all she had meant to do was look more appealing to him by avoiding him seeing all the preparations. And she could not even undress by herself, the big gown was so intricate … Were she to now call the maid, everyone in Meduseld would find out about their falling out … would she sleep in the dress would bring the same outcome but in the morning. She wiped her tears and walked over to her husband's room which was only across the hall from hers.

Eomer was standing in front of the window with his fists clenched when he heard the subtle knock on the door.

"Go away and never come back." He shouted. "Not tonight, not any night from now on."

But Lothiriel had already opened the door, not expecting his reaction. He realized he was no longer alone in the room and turned around furious:

"Lilith, are you deaf?!... Oh… Lothi , I didn't … Well, you figured out what I thought and you know I didn't mean to send _you _away."

" I … I don't know how to deal with this , Milord."

"Lothiriel, for the last time, stop calling me that when we are alone!"

"I'm sorry … I came to say … well… that I am sorry I shouted at you. I just did not want you to see me get ready for bed."

"I'm sorry too . I should have just let you call your maid. "

"It's too late to call her now so … would you please help me get this off?"

Eomer smiled and walked over to her. She blushed and looked down.

"Lothi, I don't mean to embarrass you. "

"Sometimes I think you enjoy watching me blush and fidget."

"You are indeed delightful when your cheeks fire up but I don't like it when I make you uncomfortable. That should not happen between us. "

"I was raised this way, Mi… Eomer . "

Her voice became huskier as his hands worked the complicated ribbons. When she felt the dress ready to fall she instinctively pulled it up.

"I have done my job, my Queen, now do you want me to turn around so you can run and jump under the covers?"

"That will be very gentle of you. " she replied smiling while at the same time letting go of the dress and wiggling in it until it lay around her feet on the floor.

The white undergarment she was wearing was hilarious. It was neither a dress, neither breeches but a combination of the two. Eomer had never seen anything like it but now understood why his wife had insisted to be in her nightdress before he entered the room. Still, laughing at her was not an option so he moved towards her and leaning close kissed her. She wrapped her hands around his neck in response.

"You replace me with a peasant whore?"

The voice startled the royal couple and as they broke the kiss Lothiriel turned to look at Lady Lilith. To say that everybody was in shock was an understatement. Eomer could not believe Lilith's audacity, Lothiriel could not believe she was seen in indecent postures for the second time on the same day and the mistress was experiencing what all mistresses must be feeling upon coming face to face with the wife.

Eomer felt like laughing. The two women were inspecting each other as if the other one was a horse to be bought. Nobody was screaming at the moment and he wanted to keep it that way so he decided to speak.

"Lady, you have not been replaced, you were replacing my wife and that is no longer necessary. Now I am sure that you want to apologize to your Queen both for bursting into the room and for the uninspired use of terms to describe her."

Lothiriel frowned at Eomer. He was taking away her moment to be angry and shout or maybe throw something at the other woman.

"Please forgive me, Milady." Lilith said and stormed out of the room, clearly with tears in her eyes.

"Why did she call me a peasant?" Lothiriel asked when they were alone again.

"Really?! That is what upset you?"

"No, the whole thing upset me. I can understand why she would call me a whore, because in her mind I was sleeping with her lover, I do get that she used to come to your room every night and she probably did it on purpose tonight to catch you 'cheating' on her and maybe pull my hair but I don't see how she would think I am a peasant girl."

" I think it is your very … how should I say it … warm keeping undergarments."

"Oh !... " Now she was furious. And in her mind it was all Eomer's fault for simply not respecting her simple wish of getting ready for bed like she was supposed to.

"Lothiriel, I am sorry. I did not mean for this night to go this way. I am tired and suppose so are you. Next time you ask me for something I promise to listen."

" I didn't mean to say that you should not touch me … "

" I know." He smiled sheepishly.

"You are so … so full of yourself !"

"Do you want me to be full of me ?" he grinned.

"Eomer ! Do not talk to me like you would a common whore!"

"What does that mean? What is exactly , in your mind a 'common whore'?"

"Oh, you are impossible! How can you ask me something like that without even blushing?"

" Why are you so embarrassed? I did not ask you that with anybody around, that would be inappropriate. I only made a joke so you would loosen up a bit."

"Well I do not think it is funny to ask me if I want to be … like that!"

"Full of me?"

"Stop saying that! "

"All right then, Milady. Will you please escort me to bed where I kindly ask you to lie down and lift your gown so I can assert my marital right if you feel inclined to allow me?"

"Why are you like that ?" she asked in tears.

"It is so difficult with you , Lothiriel. I honestly do not know how to be with you without making you angry or making you cry."

"You knew last night …"

"No, you slapped me , kicked me out and cried a great deal last night too."

" If you would just be … less coarse. Can't we just kiss and not talk about it ?"

" If I try to be 'less coarse' , would you try to be a little less the proper stuck-up lady?"

"I'll try. I want this to work, Eomer. I really do not want you out of my bed … and into that of other's…"

"I wasn't going to anybody's bed, Lothiriel, even if you hadn't come to me. "

"But you would not have come back to me either …"

"No. You wanted me out, you are the one to call me back in. I have never begged at the door of any woman. "

She was flaring up again. He grabbed her into his arms and took her to the bed. She struggled to get out the silly whites and his hand went straight in between her legs. He started to stroke gently while kissing her and moisture was coming to greet his experienced fingers. Without realizing it she was pushing herself against his hand still when she felt his wanting manhood at her entrance she panicked. It seemed too fast. He felt her go stiff and thought he knew she was ready and moving further would not hurt her but give her body what it craved he broke the kiss and looked into her eyes:

"Do you want me to stop?"

She wanted to say "yes" just to punish him for taking her like this but wanted him so much inside her that she wrapped her legs around him and whispered "no.." .

He plunged into her and increased his rhythm mercilessly as her own cries ascended. She was trying to control the sounds but was not making a good job of it. When he suddenly stopped and pulled out she felt deserted.

"Turn around." She heard him say but could not move. He got up and gently rolled her on her stomach then came back into bed and straddling her he made her bring her bottom up a little.

She was completely confused until she felt him against her behind. Then she remembered some stories and some jokes and panicking reached with her hand behind.

"Eomer, please don't …"

He bent over her and now she really could not move anymore.

"Shh… trust me, you will like this. And you can bite on that pillow if your pleasure screams get too loud."

"No … please …" she whined but then felt him inside her again and the promise of an even more intense pleasure was forming in her intimate place. Indeed she started to scream while he was pounding her and eventually she exploded biting on the pillow and barely breathing. He was done a few moments later and rolled beside her.

"Now you can scold me all you want about not being proper but I know you enjoyed that. A lot." He smiled.

" I thought you were going to … hurt me . " she said catching her breath.

" I would never hurt you, dear. Not out of bed and certainly never in it. I merely wanted to show you pleasure."

"You did … "

"I know … now do you thing we can make peace until tomorrow and sleep?"

"And what happens tomorrow?"

"We'll probably be at war again and we'll have to find a way to make up."

"Make … up?" she asked

"I am not saying anything else or you'll think me coarse again. Though you were the one thinking I might … use your behind. "

"Eomer ! "

"You thought it . So, my dear Lady Queen, your thoughts are not that pure. "

Lothiriel drew the covers over her and pouted.

"All right, I am sorry I said that. Truce?"

She buried her curly face in his chest. Yes, it was a truce but he could not wait for another battle to break out so they can act it out between the sheets.


	4. Learning to say no

The next morning Lothiriel woke up alone in the room. She remembered the events of the previous night and got angry immediately. A new thought became poignant in her mind: she had to get rid of that horrible woman who had robbed her of her husband for the fist year of their marriage. She managed to run to her chambers without anybody catching a glimpse of her carelessly wrapped in the big dress from the night before and found Galda waiting in her room.

"Milady!" the young girl exclaimed.

"Oh, spare me! Get my bath and get me a dress quickly and maybe I will forgive for yesterday's happening."

"Yes Milady."

Lothiriel was determined to speak her mind to her husband. Yet when she found him in the hall looking over maps of the Riddermark she became nervous.

"Good morning!" she said in a trembling voice.

"Good morning!" he replied giving her a wide warm smile.

"I … I need to speak with you." Her voice became dimmer with every word.

"Yes?"

"I … I …I wish for…" her eyes were inspecting the floor and her hands seemed to try to make knots in her dress.

"Lothiriel, I really wish you could be less nervous when talking to me. You only seem to feel free to speak your mind when I infuriate you."

"Oh, I am infuriated …"

"Really?" he asked in amusement. "And what have I done to accomplish that? I hope you are not mad because I left the bed before you this morning, I got the impression that it is what you wanted after yesterday's occurrence."

He was mocking her. She felt tears come to her eyes and made a real effort not to cry. He didn't deserve her grief for treating her like that.

"Lothi? Are you really upset? What's wrong?" he asked coming right in front of her and looking her in the, by now very wet eyes.

"That … woman. I want that woman gone."

Eomer's eyes grew wide.

"You want me to have her killed?"

"No! I don't want anybody killed. I just want her away from you. Gone."

"Lothiriel, I promised to you I would be faithful and anybody's closeness is not going to affect that."

"I want her gone! " Lothiriel shouted.

"All right, I understand you are upset and you are very right to be so …"  
" Eomer, I have never asked you for anything. I am asking you now to make that woman go away from Edoras."

"Love, I promise you I will not have anything to do with her anymore, ever."  
"Then why are you so reluctant to make her leave? With her skills she could make a living at any court, the gods know there is never a shortage of whores."

She was looking at the floor and trying to keep a steady voice but it was trembling.

"Lothiriel, I know you dislike her , you are right and I am sorry but she is not a whore."

"Now you are going to claim that she is a good , decent woman?! That she does not give her body for financial gratification?"

" Well, she doesn't. I was her only lover and she never accepted anything from me."

Lothiriel went pale.

"She is your lover , not your paid …mistress? Oh that's just so much worse …"  
Eomer took her chin in his hand and made her look at him.

"She was a convenient way of … finding release. We were not lovers, just , well bedmates. And it is over because you are all the woman I'll ever want or need."

" Why her , Eomer?"

" What do you mean by that question?"

"Why did you pick her? You obviously had where to choose from. Why this one? What can she do?"

"Lothiriel, do you really think it is a good thing for you to learn such facts? Isn't it better if we leave it how it is and move on?"

"I need to understand, Eomer. I get that you didn't know how to be with me, that you were not ready to be married and that is was as much forced on you as it was on me…"  
"Lothiriel, I did not marry you because somebody made me."

"But I am a convenient match. Just not a convenient bedmate, I suppose."  
"You are an excellent bedmate and wife, Lothi, I was stupid and immature and I probably will not stop apologizing for that in a lifetime… I kept her because it was easy. I am not proud of it , I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you …"

"Then send her away! It is even worse that your relationship was exclusive ! She is in love with you !"

"Lothi, there was never a question of love between me and her …"

"Maybe for you! Yes, you are rather stupid if you do not understand that any woman that ever gets close to you has no other choice but to fall in love ! "

His frown upon hearing her call him 'stupid' quickly turned into a big smug smile .

She wanted to shove him but got her hands up then stopped and looked down.

"You know, my lovely wife, you are like one of those small dogs. You boldly attack , then suddenly get scared and make use of your beautiful eyes to keep your opponent from striking back."

"I still want her away. Even more now."Lothiriel said in a dim voice.

"That would be as bad as killing her. She has her life and her horses here. She could not do that anywhere else."

"Horses? "  
"She breeds horses. Most of the stallions at our court come from her stock …"

"So … she is wealthy."

"Yes, she is. Her parents married her when she was fifteen to a very old and rich horse breeder. He died a few years into the marriage and she was left with everything."

" Oh… Don't you try to make me feel bad for her ! So she had it bad with the old husband but that is no excuse for taking mine!"

"Lothi, I have an idea. Hear me out and then if you still want her sent away, I promise I will respect that."

Lothiriel was looking at him with curious eyes.

"You know how in Rohan marriage can never be broken and that for women to be unfaithful to their husbands is a deadly offense …"

"Yes, I know, but it is somewhat unfair that it is allowed with men…"

"I can understand that. To us paternity is very important. So if you have a wife, you have to be sure that her babies are yours. And if you , married or not, get another woman pregnant, you have to take responsibility for the child and either provide for the mother or take the child into you own family if your wife accepts it."

"Eomer, do you have a child by her?" she looked horrified.

"No, I don't have a child by anybody so far and the only ones I shall ever have will be yours. What I'm trying to tell you is that if Lilith were to marry, she would be as useless as if she was away. "

"Oh!" Lothiriel was still not over the shock of the possibility of Eomer being a father.

"So if she marries, will you agree that she can stay?"

"Only if she has a baby by the end of a year passing since she is wedded. I do not want her to be ready and waiting for my bed to be inaccessible to you."

Eomer's eyebrows rose.

"Am I to understand you plan to make it inaccessible at some point?"

" No…."

"Look at me , please."

She raised her eyes and he could see that was difficult for her.

" What did you mean by that Lothiriel?" he didn't seem mad which was somewhat reassuring.

"Well… I … if I should …um…be with child at some time , I could not really… I mean , I could up to some point I suppose but then… and if I should not be with child again … sometimes I …"

" Bema, Lothiriel, we have to figure out a way for you to be more at ease with me. "

"I am not used to discussing such things."

"Well at least I am relieved you do not want to punish me by keeping me away from you."

"I would be punishing myself like that … and denying Rohan an heir…"

Eomer smiled. His wife was very sweet in her admittance that she enjoyed his lovemaking.

"I am very happy you think like that. And I promise to always respect your wish, whether you are pregnant, going through the flux or just not in the mood for me. "  
"Eomer!"

He put her arms around her and kissed her passionately. She responded to his embrace and they got lost in the moment till she was sitting on the big wooden desk, with her dress lifted up and his hands desperately trying to remove the very warm but unpractical knee long underpants she was wearing. She realized what they were about to do and became really uncomfortable. He eventually managed to unlace the undergarments and lifted her just a little so he could take them off. Now her bare bottom was resting on the table and he was struggling to free her legs from the white linen. She was looking away, biting her lip and Eomer realized something was amiss so he looked at her. His first impulse was tot stop. Then , a wicked idea came to him : his wife needed to learn to speak her mind even if it made her uncomfortable. She felt his gaze and looking at him tried to smile. He raised his eyebrows. He was not upset or frightening and Lothiriel knew what he was asking but could not get herself to give him the honest answer so she just wiggled her legs and threw the funny looking leggings on the floor. Eomer came closer and she accommodated him between her thies. He still had all his clothes on and Lothiriel wondered a bit about that. Should she have undressed him? If she took her arms away from the table she would fall on her back…She felt weird an inappropriate and wondered if this was what Eomer used to do with that woman. If it was, she was not so jealous anymore. This was uncomfortable and humiliating and just … bad. She was almost crying when all of a sudden she was startled by her own scream. So lost in her thoughts she had not noticed that her husband had put his head under her dress and his mouth was now hungrily licking and sucking her female folds with incredible skill. She could not help moaning and when his fingers started to make use of the moisture that has instantly gathered between her legs she completely lost herself and in the attempt to push him away with her hands collapsed on her back on the desk and remained there moaning and squirming till she could no longer stand it and reached her peak screaming "Please stop!".

"Yes, Milady." He replied coming up for air. He picked her undergarments and put them back on , helped her up , tied the laces and mended her dress.

She caught her breath then looked him right in the eye but only held his gaze for a moment. His wicked smile made her mad. Still, what could she scold him for? She couldn't deny that he gave her pleasure. And as it was, he obviously got none from that ...

"Why did you do that?" she eventually asked.

"You didn't want me to?"

"I think… there could have been a better moment or place for that …and you didn't really…"

"Yeees?"

"Well, I don't think it was pleasurable for you too."

"I'm glad I managed to give you pleasure. I'm sure you will reciprocate it a better place at a better time."

"I will…" she said still avoiding his eyes.

He came very close again and whispered in her ear :

"And you can tell me stop anytime, love, not just scream when you cannot bear it anymore."

"You toyed with me." She said looking at him.

"You let me. And you liked it…eventually"

"Don't do that please."

"Do what?"

" You are impossible!" she screamed then stormed out of the hall.

She went to her room and sat down on the bed. She was so angry with him! Then she felt something strange, as if she was sitting in a puddle. She needed to wash and change and all of a sudden it struck her: she had promised to reciprocate. And considering how he had brought her to pleasure , he would probably demand she indulged him in the same manner. She was instantly sick to her stomach.


	5. Crime and punishment

By evening Eomer felt more tired than he had after the battle of Helm's Deep. Some time ago his uncle had told him that being involved with more than one woman was harder than being at war with another land and now the young King understood what that warning was about. He had spent all day making sure that both his former mistress could remain in Edoras and that his wife's fears were put to rest. The first one had thrown a fit and threatened to castrate all of her stallions before being wed. Her bethroted was a young captain who had been in love with her for years and had proposed to marry her a couple of times only to be faced with the greatest spite and indifference. Eventually she realised that it was her only change and by the time Eomer was making his way back to his chambers , their wedding night must have been right at the start. He wondered if he would feel any jealousy or loss but there was none, he was just content that he could mend it so that he would not feel guilty for Lilith's misfortune.

He entered the room with a wonderful lightness of heart and a smile on his face but immediately frowned upon seeing Lothiriel standing in the middle of the chambers , looking at him with what seemed to be fury.

„You will not touch me!" she hissed at him.

„What in Middle Earth gave you the idea that I want to touch you?" he asked not yet angry but really irritated.

„Well, you came in here."

„And obviously you have been expecting me unless you were waiting for somebody else to come in and receive your wonderful welcome".

„You said I could say no that you would respect that." Her voice was trembling.

„ Lothiriel, prior to saying no, you have to be asked. I barely came in the room and you snapped at me. „

„I did not snap, I just told you that I do not want ... that … tonight."

"With you acting like this, you will not get _that _for a very long time."

Her nostrils swell.

"You need an heir!"

"Lothiriel, I have made love to you three times in one year, the first time because it was absolutely necessary. Trust me, I am not desperate to bed you or have a son. Maybe Eowyn's child will be a boy and then the lineage of Rohan is assured. "

"The throne is not for nephews but for sons!"

" I _am_ the King's nephew , Lothiriel . Come to think of it , it is strange that you accepted to wed me."

"I had no choice but to marry you!"

"Is that so ?" he seemed very calm all of a sudden. Too calm considering she had just offended him greatly with her remark about the lineage of Rohan.

"Yes, that is so ." she answered shortly looking straight into his eyes.

"Are you sure you did not want this marriage?"

Lothiriel felt the danger but could not get her mind around what it was. She thought he was trying to get her to admit she actually did want him and her pride would not allow for that.

"I am sure, Milord."

"In that case, let us undo it."

"What?!"

"Well, I have been misled by your father and your brothers who swore tot me you did not only agree but wanted to become my wife. Apparently they have lied to me and if there is one thing I can't stand is deceit."

Lothiriel could not feel her legs anymore, she thought she was going to collapse.

"You can't be serious , Milord."

"There is nothing more serious to me than trust and honesty. Since those have been breached , I see no other choice."

"But … I … I…. would you just discard me like that?"

"I am not discarding you, I am undoing the wrong that has been done to you by being forced into a marriage which is clearly below you."

"It is not below me … I just …"

"Yes?"

"I am …at peace with it now."

"At peace? Yesterday you loved me and this morning you were furiously jealous of Lilith."

"I was not jealous!"

"But did you love me?"

"Of course I do , why would you question that?"

He came really close and towering over her his voice thundered:

"Because you lie to me, Milady. You cannot look me in the eyes when you tell me you love me but you have no trouble doing that when you say this marriage has been forced on you."

"Milord, you are scaring me."

"You should be scared, my Queen. You never before had reason to fear me, my temper or my bed but now you do because right now I have a good mind of taking you on the terrace of Meduseld and whip you like liars deserve."

"I'm sorry, I'm … I was just …"

"Do NOT try to find justifications for it, there is absolutely nothing in Middle Earth that can excuse your lie."

"You are right. Punish me if you will but please do it here , don't take me outside, I would die of embarrassment."

He moved away from her and sat on the bed. He felt beat.

She was motionless for a while, tears running down her face but making no sound. Eventually she went over to him and took her dress off. He was looking at her in the thin slip and could not help think of how beautiful she was. Still, his pride got the better of him:

"If you think I am in any mood of making love to you right now , you are mad."

She did not say anything but reached for his breeches and unbuckled his leather belt, taking it out and handing it to him.

"I did not undress to seduce Milord, I did so to receive what I deserve for my crime."

Eomer had not seen that one coming and if he could control the want he felt when he saw her almost naked he could not stop the throbbing desire that was building within him upon having her so obedient before him. He got up and she turned her back to him. When his hand touched her back she jumped and let out a little whimper. Eomer threw the belt on the floor and put one arm around her pulling her to him.

"If you think I would ever belt you , you are even madder. "

His closeness made her shiver. She was frightened and wanted him at the same time so she pushed herself back and rubbed against him. He knew this was not the moment to give into her charms but it was far too late. He wanted to have her that moment even if it meant he would die. She reached back and made his breaches slide down his muscular legs.

"Does that mean my restriction of touching you is no longer stands?"

"Yes, do with me what you please."

That was all he needed to hear . With one move he threw her on the bed and got on top of her. He lifted her nightgown and caressed her white buttocks. She jumped a bit.

"I will not hurt you, Lothiriel, my promise is still good ."

She did not care if he hurt her or pleasured her, at the moment she wanted whatever involved him. She buried her curls in the pillows and lifting herself a little spread her legs. He lifted her even more and made her rest on her knees. His fingers brushed her entrance and it was moist , ready and aching for him. Still, he wanted to taste her first so his fingers parted her folds while his tongue found the small bud and drew speedy circles around it making her screams fill the soft pillows. Her squirming let him know that she could not longer bear it so he got on his knees and in one move filled her. All sound stopped and he feared he hurt her so he began to pull back.

"Lothiriel? Did I hurt you?"

When she did not answer he became really worried so he completely released her and turned her around. She was flushed and had trouble breathing.

"Love? I'm so sorry."

She swallowed and struggled to catch her breath enough to whisper:

"Please don't stop."

He was still not convinced she was all right so he brought his hand between her legs. She pushed herself against it and moaned. She tried to turn back on her stomach but he did not let her.

"I want to see you." He said .

He gently pushed two fingers inside her and closely watched her face to check for any signs of pain. There were none. He took her legs and put them on his shoulders then started to enter her again, still cautious at first , then faster and faster until her voice again filled her room while he filled her with his warmth.

Silence filled the room and Lothiriel was again starting to feel very nervous. Part of her wished he would get up and leave so she would not have to talk to him anymore. The other part knew her heart would bleed if he left her now. The moment he did get up she closed her eyes, not daring to look where he was going. He heard him going towards the washroom and coming back on her side of the bet but still she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Are you still afraid I might hit you?" she heard him ask and then looked at him. He had his breeches back on and was holding a towel.

She sat up and biting her lower lip spread her legs a little bit. He smiled and gave her the cloth then turned around and went to the window.

She quickly cleaned herself and pulled up the blankets.

Eomer put another log on the fire then came back to the bed and sat next to his wife. She was biting her lip.

"What are you scared of, Lothiriel ?"

"That you will not forgive me. "

"Do you want me to?"

"Of course I do. I did not mean to cross you."

"Because you are scared of me?"

She closed her eyes and nodded.

"Well, at least you are honest even if you can't voice it." He put his palm on her right cheek : "Lothiriel, look at me please."

She obeyed and he softly leaned and kissed her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and started to cry hysterically. Eomer was surprised and then surprised again at his surprise : this had been going on and off for the last couple of days.

"Please forgive me , please." He heard her say between sobs.

His first instinct was to reassure her. His second one was to push her away. He managed to resist both of them and instead gently got up from the bed and said :

"This is not how it is going to work, Lothiriel. You have to stop constantly trying to manipulate me with your tears. My trust, you will have to earn back. As for everything else you want from me , I suggest you find a way to have the courage and decency to ask me for it to my face with words instead of sobs and misery."

Her crying just got worse.

"Lothiriel, I promise you, if you do not stop I will go sleep somewhere else."

"So this is what it is about? You want to go back to you horse breeding mistress?" she shouted.

"No, because unlike yours, my word is true and if one more time you question it, I will let you sleep alone for a dozen fortnights even if I have to go enjoy the company of my horse for that entire period."

"Oh, if my sin is to great just whip me until I faint and get it over with."

"Yes, I understand now why you were so eager for me to punish you. That would mean the mistake has been paid and your guilt would just disappear."

"What about you guilt and your mistake? Or is being unfaithful a virtue ?"

He was surprised at how bold she had become since he really put her into a corner. This verified this theory that she did not really cry because she was scared or felt threatened, she used it to get what she wanted and ensure (so far) the she would not be pinned against the wall. So these were her true colors and she _was_ able to strike back. Eomer was relieved as he would rather fight with her one on one than have to tiptoe around her delicate feelings.

"Well my thought was to earn back your trust in my faithfulness. But you are right, your way is easier."

He held out his hand and helped her get out of bed then bent down and picked up the belt. He slapped one of the chairs with it was so loud that Lothiriel screamed.

"Yes, it definitely has redeeming qualities."

The Queen went pale and was trying to say something, her mouth would open but her voice would not come out. So this was how she looked when she was genuinely scared. Eomer was learning more about his bride than he had for the whole first year of their marriage. When he turned towards her she put her hands up in defense. Since nothing came at her she looked for the belt. Her husband was holding it out to her.

"Take it and punish me for my unfaithfulness."

"No!"

"Come on, hit me as many times you feel it is right. It is you I wronged so you should have a correct estimate of my error. "

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"I am giving you what you want. Unless you want to do this publicly in which case we will have to wait till tomorrow because everybody is in for the night already."

Lothiriel was beyond shocked. She was trying to work in her mind how this evening had degenerated and could make no sense of it. She took the belt from his hand and threw it as far away as she could. He went and picked it up.

"Please stop it, Mil… Eomer."

"I won't use it on you to be even. I just want to get you to stop accusing me constantly. If that is what it takes, I will take it."

"I don't want to do that to you."

"Then what do you want me to do to gain your forgiveness?"

"I forgave you the second you promised me you would not leave me alone anymore. It is cruel of you threaten to take that away."

"It was cruel of you to tell me you were forced to become my wife."

"What do you want me to do to gain your forgiveness?"

"I want you to always tell me the truth. No matter how hard or how petty that truth is. I need to know I can trust you, Lothiriel. It scares me that you can lie with such ease to get your purposes. "

"I'm sorry."

"Of that I am sure. What I wonder is whether you have lied to me before."

"I didn't!"

"Are you sure?"

She was quiet. What if he knew something ? What if this was a test to see if she could be completely honest with him?

Her lack of answer let him know that there were things she kept hidden from him and now he was adamant to find them out.

Thank you to all those who reviewed , followed and added this story to favorites ; it started as a one-shot and continued because some of you asked for it; since it was not "planned", I write each chapter as it comes to me so , there is no master plan for where this is going. so , out of curiosity and for my inspiration : what secrets would you like Lothiriel to have?:)

thank you again for reading! I promise to be quicker with my next post on this story


	6. Coming Clean

Just when she hoped it was over , Lothiriel realised it was just beginning. She felt tired and hopeless. They would never find a way to make it together without fighting and accusing each other. Until a few nights ago she was just lonley and miserable. Since then she was constantly going from heartwarming extasy to utter desperation and fright. The way her husband was watching her let her know that trying to escape his questions was in itself out of the question. She reached for her nightgown then looked to him to see if he approved of her putting it back on.

He smiled.

"Cold?"

"No, unconfortable."

"You shouldn't be, you are absolutely beautiful."

She did not have the strength to argue so she let the garment drop.

Bringing her to the end of her wits was not what Eomer wanted. He picked up the gown and going over to her helped her to put it back on. She wrapped her arms around his neck and placed her head on his bare chest. He held her for a while without saying anything. It felt good but he knew they were just getting ready for yet another storm. Eomer just hoped that whatever she had lied to him about in the past would not be so bad that he could not forgive her. He needed to know though and there was no point in postponing it.

"Lothi, I need to know. I promise to be understanding."

"Can't we just talk about it tomorrow?"

"No, love. Let us get it done tonight and start new tomorrow."

"You will never forgive me."

"I will do my best, I need you to trust me."

"I did not mean to decieve you , I only … I never thought it would be important."

Eomer's heart shrunk. He was certain she would confess she did not really love him. Or indeed that she did not mean to marry him at all.

"How did you deceive me?" he asked pulling back and looking at her face. "Lothi, please look at me."

Her eyes met his and she took a deep breath. Her heart was pounding and her words came out no more than in a whisper:

"I was not a maiden on our wedding night."

Eomer's eyes widened. _That _he would not have guessed in a dozen years. Bema this woman was a far beter actress than anyone would ever give her credit for. He felt anger bulding up in his stomach and if in giving Lilith up he had felt no jealousy now he was completely blinded with it. He had never before felt so deeply that Lothiriel was his woman, only his and that her defilement was the greatest crime against his instinct was to storm out of the room, get on Firefoot and ride all night wherever the paths would take him. But he wanted to know who it was and he had to rein in his anger at least until he would find that out.

Lothiriel felt him become tense and cautiously took a few steps back.

"I'm sorry, Milord. I thought you might have noticed…"

"Well, I hadn't. I am a much bigger fool than I thought." His voice was husky and she could tell he was trying hard not to yell at her. He was also no looking at her anymore which was a very bad sign.

"Who is he?" he asked grinding his teeth and clenching his fists.

"Oh… it was no a man."

Now Eomer was thrown. He looked at her with rised brows.

"It was … well… an animal."

He could not get his brain around wha tshe was saying .

"A dog?" he asked eventually, the very thought of it making him sick to his stomach.

"No, a horse."

"A what?! Lothiriel are you mocking me ?"

"No… " she answered, tears chocking her.

" You are so tight that two of my fingers barely have room without hurting you. How in Bema's name could you fit a horse's stick ?! And why?!"

Now it was the Queen's turn to stand with her mouth wide open , not understanding him . When she realised what she thought she felt sick.

"Eomer! I did not copulate with a horse ! How could you think that?!"

"You said it."

"No, I said I lost my virginity to a horse. I am not insane. "

"Then please do explain yourself because now I think I might be insane. "

"Well, I like riding. And I did that a lot even after the ladies warned me that if I keep galloping like that I might break my maidenhead. I hoped I didn't, I swear to you I hoped but when you made love to me on our wedding night I realised it must have broke…"

Eomer felt so incredibly relieved that he could not help grinning. His wife looked at him not understanding what he could find so amusing.

"And how did you come to the conclusion it was broken?" he asked, his voice so light and cheerful that she really thought he must be a little mad. This was serious.

"Well, it din't hurt. It just stung me a little bit."

"Did it have to hurt?"

"Yes, it is supposed to be excruciating pain according to what I have heard. And there was also very little blood … please forgive me."

"Do you feel guilty about it?"

"Yes. I've been feeling guilty ever since that night."

"Good. That's what you get for not trusting me enaugh to talk to me." He wiped her tears and leaned to kiss her.

She could not believe it went so well. Why was he so understanding? Did he really not care at all?

"You do not mind?" she asked eventually.

"No, not at all."

"You do not love me."

"How do you figure that? You are the one who lied to me , I am the one who forgave you."

"You wouldn't forgive me so easily if you loved me."

"Lothi, I do love you . And when I thought you had been with another man I honestly felt like the earth crumbling beneath my feet."

"You sure got over it pretty quick."

He lifted her chin and made her look at him.

"Lothi, your maidenhead was where it was supposed to be when I first made love to you."

"But it didn't hurt."

"It didn't hurt because I was careful with you and because even if you did not have the courage to tell me about your worry then, you still trusted me enaugh not fight me and just follow my lead. "

"I was so scared you would notice… and felt so wretched when you kept asking me if it hurt me and if I was all right …"

"Lothi, even if that little piece of flesh had not been there, I still would have understood."

"Really ? Most men would stone their brides if they were spoiled."

"I am not most men , love. I am just relieved that I was and still am your only man. That is the case , isn't it?"

"How can you ask that?! Of course you are my only, Milord. Your inquiry is offensive. "

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to offend you. I do need you to promise something though."

"That you will always be my only ?"

"That you will never again lie to me or keep something from me. "

She looked at him and nodded.

"Does that mean you promise?"

"Yes! What do you want me to do ? Sign in blood?"

"Not since it is not maidenly anymore." He gested and of course she blushed. "Let's just go to bed my shy wife."

She felt exhausted and the thought of making love saddened her. Still she got in and braced herself. He blew out the candles and got under the covers but just gently kissed her lips and said "good night" before falling into a deep sleep. Another storm was over.


	7. A Painful Practice

Lothiriel woke up with a very bad headache. Last night's crying and confessing had left her absolutely drained and part of her wished they could go back to how they were before, politely avoiding each other. She had obviously never been with any man and having to deal with this one was exhausting. Most of all she feared their intimate moments because good as he made her feel, she knew she did not do the same for him and felt wretched about it. And the promise that she would use her mouth on him in return for his similar favor just made her sick to her stomach. The thought of telling him that crossed her mind but then so did the idea that he might get that elsewhere. She resolved she would have to do it so after bathing and dressing herself for the day she took a deep breath and bravely marched towards the kitchen.

Eomer was sparing with his men when a very worried maid came to find him. She told him that Lothiriel seemed to be very sick, that the door was locked and it sounded like she was throwing up incessantly since the morning. It was already afternoon and he scolded the young woman for not finding him earlier.

He didn't bother to knock on her bedroom door just pushed it a little harder and it opened. Indeed Lothiriel was in the washroom and did not hear him until he heard his very surprised thundering voice:

"What in Bema's name are you doing?!"

She had what seemed like twenty cucumbers of all sizes around her and when he surprised her she was just shoving a very big one really deep down her throat. By the look of the rest of the vegetables they had endured the same faith.

"You didn't knock!" she squeaked.

"I thought you were dying by the sound that came out of this room!"

"I'm fine." She said, the words coming out a little weird because of the excessive saliva in her mouth.

"You are not fine! It looks like you have been crying and must have a very sore throat."

"It's your fault!"

"How is it my fault? I left you this morning sleeping peacefully."

"You want me to do this."

Only now it dawned on Eomer what she was really doing and he found it just unreal. How exactly she had come up with this dumb idea of torturing herself he could not figure out.

She felt like crying and had been so angry all day seeing that she cannot do this without being very sick that she just took the cucumber she was practicing on and threw it at him. He avoided the impact and gave her a very angry look.

"Get out!" She shouted and he realized that she was genuinely upset over this.

"You can't kick me out, Lothiriel. Not this time. "

"I don't want you here."

"I don't want you sore and sick."

"Too late for that."

"I can see. What in Middle Earth were you thinking? Why didn't you stop when you saw it made you sick?"

"Don't you dare lecture me? It is you who made me do this."

He raised his eyebrows at her.

"I did what?"

"You expect me to …" she bit her upper lip and realized she could not put into words what he wanted of her. Saying it was more outrageous than thinking about it.

"First of all, I don't expect you to do anything you don't want to do and second, what you are doing here has nothing to do with pleasing me with your mouth."

"Well I haven't… pleased anybody that way so this is the only way I can get an idea."

"Lothiriel, I obviously do not expect you to have done any of this before." He noticed she swallowed with what seemed great difficulty and going over to her took her chin between his fingers.

"Open your mouth." he commanded.

She opened it a little bit and her breathing increased.

"Wider!" he said and could see her apprehension.

"I won't do anything to your mouth if that's what you fear. Bema! Your throat is all bruised! How far did you push those things down there?!"

"I tried to swallow them." She answered, angry and embarrassed tears coming to her eyes.

"Why would you try to swallow this?!" he asked picking up a very big cucumber which bore the markings of her teeth.

"I don't know how to do these things but I did hear my brothers and I know it's just amazing for men when the woman can swallow."

Eomer extended a hand to her and helped her get up.

"It's not the whole groin that gets swallowed, love."

"I don't understand." She really looked lost.

"It's the seed."

The moment she understood Lothiriel felt sicker than she did all day and instantly turned to the porcelain basin. There were no contents left in her stomach so only a little blood came out.

Eomer allowed her a few moments to collect herself and wash her face, then lead her to the room and motioned her to sit down on one of the chairs.

"I'll go fetch you a cup of chamomile tea. It will help you feel less nauseous and soothe your throat. Then we need to talk."

"No, please… "

"Oh, it's imperative that we straighten out some things."

By the time he came back, Eomer found Lothiriel crying her eyes out. He was not surprised just a little disappointed that she still tried that on him. He decided to ignore her tears and just took a chair, sat in right in front of her and sat on it giving her the cup of tea.

She took a few sips and he started to talk.

"Lothi, you do not have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable and definitely nothing that makes you sick."

"But you would like that, I know you would."

"Of course I would but it's nothing like what you put yourself through today." He took her hand in his and drew it to his face, taking two of her fingers into his mouth and moving slowly up and down them, occasionally using his tongue. It was incredibly erotic and Lothiriel felt desire run through her.

"That is more like it." He said releasing her hand. "Gentle, slow and with you in control. The way the poor vegetables looked you expected me to force your mouth open and shove myself all the way to your stomach. "

"I don't want to talk about It." she pouted, visibly upset that he was ignoring her sobbing.

"You don't have to talk, just listen to me. I do not want you afraid of me and terrified by the prospect of making love."

"I'm not."

"You have been throwing up all day in anticipation of it. That is unacceptable. Our bed is as much about your pleasure as it is about mine and if you don't want to do this, you don't have to. All I want you to know is that it is not as brutal as you have obviously pictured it."

"Did she do that to you?"

"What?! Lothiriel, that is of no importance."

"It is. And you made me promise to be honest so you have to be as well. "

"I am honest but it really does not matter…"

"Did she or didn't she?" Lothiriel's argumentative side was coming to surface since her misery was not very effective.

"Yes, she did. It still doesn't mean you have to."

"Did she also swallow?"

"Yes! How does knowing that help you?"

"Did you enjoy it?"

She was relentless and Eomer knew that every confirmation hurt her.

"Yes. But I enjoy bedding you just as much without you doing that so it is of no consequence."

"Still, you would like me to do that."

"Lothiriel…I."

"Honesty, Milord."

"It is a pleasant feeling, yes."

"And it would make you feel all the more powerful seeing me on my knees before you, unable to speak and waiting for your seed to invade my mou…" she was getting sick again and he handed her the tea.

"You would not be on your knees waiting for anything. We would both be in bed with me on my back and you having the control over when I come and where I come. But again, you do not have to do it. I actually insist you don't."

"Because I am so bad at it?"

"Because you loathe the idea so much and I don't want you to be unhappy."

"If she did it, I will too. Did she also give you her …"

"Her what?"

"Bottom." She replied in a whisper and he was thrown.

"Lothi, please tell me you haven't been practicing on that too…"

"What if I have?"

He got up from his chair and she pushed herself back into hers.

"You would not just check." She squeaked.

"Would you rather tell me or challenge me to see if I check?"

"I didn't! And you haven't answered me. Did you do that with her?"

"Yes. Lothiriel, I did a lot of things with Lilith and with many others. I already promised to be faithful to you and only do the things you want and like so why would you torture yourself with that information?"

"I want to do all those things for you. I just need to know what they are to be prepared."

He kneeled by her chair and kissed her hand.

"I love you, Lothiriel, and your willingness to please me is touching but I want to please you just as much. "

"You do please me. I'm just not good at this and I…"

"You are amazing at it, love. What you lack is experience and you can't get that by yourself. "

"But then how would I know what to do?"

"You can ask me." He smiled. "And we can try whatever you have in mind, slowly and carefully so you don't get hurt or sick or scared."

"How would you enjoy that?"

"Believe me, I will"

He got up and poured himself a goblet of wine.

"I still wish I knew more."

"Ask me what you want to know."

"I can't. It's embarrassing."

"Anything you can do with me you should be able to talk to me about."

"All right. What is the worst I can expect from you?"

"What do you mean?" he frowned.

"What is the most … un-nice thing you would like to do to me?"

"Un-nice? Please give me un example of what you find un-nice, I don't know that word."

"Well, one of my brothers was always very proud of how he drove his lovers mad with desire and then had they beg for him to give them release. Another was amazed that he had found a girl who allowed him to shove his whole arm in her …" Lothiriel stopped when she saw her husband's surprise.

"I can't believe they let you hear that." He said.

"Oh, I heard a lot, trust me. So … what should I expect from you?"

"To stop whatever I am doing the moment you say it is not nice."

"Why did I ask you in the first place?!" Lothiriel got up from her chair and went to the window.

Her husband followed her and took her into his arms, kissing her neck. She wanted him so bad she felt like one of her brother's begging mistresses.

"Men are rather dumb when they are young, love. They want to try all sorts of things and push all possible boundaries. You caught your brothers growing up, acting out, probably bragging to each other and I have a hunch sometimes knowing you were listening and wanting to gross you out. Please trust me to be older and wiser than that."

"But there must still be things that you like."

"I like you, Lothiriel, as you are. Yes, I wish you could be more comfortable with me and stop thinking of yourself as easy because you enjoy my touch but I know that will come in time just as your experience."

Her closeness was threatening his composure. He told himself he should leave her alone for now, give her some time to become aware of her own needs and come to him. Apparently she was already aware since her vas very gently pushing herself against him. Still, when he kissed her neck again, she went stiff.

"What is the matter?" he asked

"Nothing. I'm fine. You can … we can…, I mean if you want to…"

He turned her around and looked at her. She was flushed and her breathing was off. She obviously did want him.

"Well if we can and you want to, relax."

"I am relaxed."

He led her to the bed and she started to take off her dress, very methodically. On seeing that he was watching her closely, she stopped.

"Are you going to stay dressed?" she asked, her cheeks burning by now.

"Not if you help me undress." He winked at her and she eagerly started to do what he asked, just as methodically as she was undressing herself, taking each piece of clothing off and nicely folding it so it wouldn't wrinkle. There was no passion or desire in her moves. Eomer let her take off all of his clothes and when he was completely naked decided it was time to ignite in his wife that fire that she was trying hard to keep under control with her neatly planned actions. He took her thin slip off in a moment and threw her on the bed, getting on top of her and holding both of her wrists above her head with one of his hands.. He kissed her deeply, mindful of what he knew was a rather bruised mouth and started to caress her body with his free hand. She was squirming and moaning and when his fingers reached her most private spot he could feel her readiness so he pushed inside her and started to move very slowly, thoroughly pushing into her and feeling her lift herself to meet him at each thrust. She mumbled something against his lips and he lifted his head to look at her.

"Let go of me." She said pouting and he was surprised. What had he done now? He reluctantly pulled out of her and she frowned.

"I meant my hands…" she whispered blushing. "I want to touch you"

"Oh." He said with a smile easily slid right back into her tightness earning a mewl from her.

"Is this nice?" his voice was playful.

"Yes…very nice." She said and wrapped her legs around him while her hands started travelling up and down his back. When he increased the speed she started moaning approvingly and then he felt her shiver and squeeze his shoulders while desperately trying not to cry out. He put his mouth on hers and absorbed all her enticing sounds and with a few more deep thrusts he exploded inside her.

"I wish it could always be like this." She said and immediately regretted it. Now she would have to explain herself for sure.

"I always will _feel_ like this."

"At some point you will stop taking it easy on me, I know."

He turned on his side and looked at her.

"Lothiriel, what do you imagine I want to do to you?"

"I don't know, that is the problem. And you won't tell me…"

"Our bed is never going to be a problem. What happens between us comes naturally…when you let it."

"See, you are not happy with me." She was getting teary again.

"Don't!" he said in a very firm voice. "We can talk about it, you can ask whatever you want and I'll tell you , show you and teach you but no crying. ."

She was getting annoyed by his lack of sensitivity and she wanted to turn her back to him but he would not let her.

"I mean it, Lothiriel. No more crying, putting and kicking me out."

"Fine! Then no … mouth pleasuring either."

" Very well. Then the next time I catch you getting all emotional for no reason other than to manipulate me I shall expect you to hold this bargain. "

She pulled the blankets up and pouted.

"I will let this one slide, but just this one " he said kissing her and getting up to get dressed.

Eomer left the room with a big smile on his face while Lothiriel wasn't feeling very good still in bed. This was all too complicated.


End file.
